Blech Friday

First entry to the Holiday Shopping season blog

Holiday shopping season from the eyes of a small retailer.

Hey everybody.

Yeah, it's been a while, I know. Things are hectic lately, and I haven't been able to dedicate any time on this. I'm going to try something for the next few weeks.

If you don't know, I'm in the family business. I was working on and off for my dad for almost ten years, and after being in the corporate life for about five years, I left and decided to be with pops full time.

Along with my dad and brother, we own two small clothing stores in the Bronx. The three of us have been the full owners for almost five years, with the past two years being a struggle. Before my brother and I came aboard, my dad was partners with two of his friends for over twenty years.

Alot of my friends think that I have tons of cash and I can take off anytime since I own a business. I put in at least 60 hours a week (that's without the commute), and due to the crappy economy, the finances are not too good these days.

I want to show what it's like to have a store in the inner-city during the economic crunch, so I'm going to attempt to have a diary of what goes on from November 28th (Black Friday) to January 6th (Three Kings Day).

My work week is split between the two stores, with my dad working most of the time at one store while my brother is based in the other. I used to work more out of the store my dad us based, but when one of our employees quit two years ago, I asked to split time between both. It breaks up the routine for me. I usually work Monday, Friday and Saturday at one, and Tuesday - Thursday at theother. During the holidays, I work all seven days with an afternoon off sprinkled in there.

I'm going to do the best I can to make it a daily diary, and I'm going to use one of three methods; plain text, audio, or video. It will depend which method would likely go well with the day's topic.

I'm hoping this will open a few eyes about life in a mom and pop store. Please do me a favor, and spread the word about this upcoming diary to your friends, family, and enemies. This should be interesting/fun/unpredictable/sad/pathetic/saucy/quixotic and other five dollar words.

VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE

I'm not going to preach on who to choose...just get your ass out there and vote!!

It's a right, a privilege, and most importantly, your duty.

See you at the polls tomorrow!

E.J.

Chuck Norris is a Republican...

I better switch before he roundhouses me to the right




Click here to see who else is a republican.

Change your bookmarks, because I'm getting famous.

Well, not really


I need to change the address of my blog. I want to use my name for a future blog that I'll be starting in the future.

I haven't been posting for a while due to the fact that I've been re-working t-shirt site and it's taking a couple of hours a day. I'll do my best to post more in the future.

Here's the new address:


hesjustbabbling.blogspot.com

Thanks, kids

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is back. Oh happy day!!

If you have never heard of or seen It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, now is your chance to catch one of the best shows on television today. It's dark, rude, and oh so douche-chill inducing. Season 4 begins at 10PM on Thursdays on FX.

I came across this show two years ago when an episode was offered for free on iTunes. I've been hooked ever since. I have all of the episodes, and I've turned many people to it. You know the stupid shit you want to say sometimes, but know it's just wrong to? Well, these dummies most certainly do that, and to the next level no less. Here are a few clips to show you what I mean.


From season 3...


Danny DeVito Sex Tape. This was filmed to promote season 3


Promo for season 4.

Catch an episode or two and let me know what you think.

Enjoy, kids.
E.J.

Priorities?

I don't really talk about politics in my everyday conversation, but...

Obama postpones his appearance on the season premiere of Saturday Night Live this past weekend.

"In light of the unfolding crisis in Texas, Senator Obama has decided it is no longer appropriate to appear on Saturday Night Live tomorrow evening," Obama spokeswoman Jen Psaki explained in a statement issued late Friday night.

The next day, I was flipping channels at my brother's apartment in Brooklyn, and I saw John McCain at the opening ceremony of a NASCAR race that was going down in New Hampshire.

I'm just sayin'...

Ever look for something on YouTube...

...you start going deep, clicking on link after link?



You come across something like this...



...and when you're done watching, you forgot what hell the you were looking for?

So sorry Patriot fans...

(am I really?)





Chiefs lose this game 17-10, but I feel there was a moral victory. I'm not happy that a person was injured, but I'm am ecstatic that the Massholes are collectively crying theirs eyes out. I did say the Chiefs defense will grab them a few upsets this season. They were already yay* close in week one.

But don't worry Patriot Nation, I've read that Chris Simms, Duante Culpepper, Steve DeBerg, Vinny Testaverde, Jeff Jones, Ryan Leaf, and Tom Tupa are visiting the Patriots this Monday for a workout and physical...

Tee hee hee




*The measurement of yay is approximately the space between the index finger and the thumb when describing something small; about an inch and a quarter.

September is Funk appreciation month...

A few months, back I posted a video of DJ Funktuall going over the greatest samples of hip hop. As of this post, He's 13 videos deep with that subject, and now he's doing something special for the month of September.

Every day this month, he posts a tribute to a band, spins a few tracks, or just preaches the word of funk to the masses. He's nutty as ever, but I'm still getting a kick out of him. I'm posting day 1 for you guys. Check it out, it's worth it.



Enjoy kids,

-E.J.

Football is back...wepa!!

There's nothing like football to make a grown man like myself jump for joy.



I'm a die hard Kansas City Chiefs fan since the Christian Okoye days, and I'm hoping the defense steps up to win some games this year. Larry Johnson is going to have a tough time with the weakening offensive line, so the D needs to limit the points it gives up. Def Coordinator Gunther Cunningham is lunatic (something all D.C.s should be) and has improved K.C. through the years. I'm not a fan of Herman Edwards the coach. As a motivational speaker, he's great, but that's not helping his clock management nor those tough decisions under pressure. I'm hoping for a 9-7 record so they can barely capture a wild card spot and then lose to Pittsburgh in the first round of the playoffs. Hell, if I'm going to make a prediction, I'm going balls out...

This is going to be my first time in about seven years that I won't be able to see the Chiefs play in the comfort of my parents home. They're switching from DirecTV to cable, and Sunday Ticket is not available on cable. I don't get that...you can get MLB, NBA, NHL, NCAA Football, and even MLS packages on cable...I need me my football!! My landlady won't let me install a dish, so I'm shit out of luck. Hooters and/or Buffalo Wild Wings, here I come!!

One great thing to look forward to this season, is that I'm going to my first NFL game ever. The Chiefs are coming to town in October, so it'll be great to see Favre throw a few maverick interceptions to Patrick Surtain live and in person.

This will not be my first pro-football game, though. I did catch a few NY/NJ Hitmen games during the only XFL season. I'm not biased because I'm a WWE fan, but I must say the XFL should have a been given a chance to develop. It was tons of fun at the games, and the football wasn't as bad as the elitists at ESPN would paint it to the masses. How great was it when a player or a couch would fuck up, only to sideline reporter in his face asking him what happened on the spot? The NFL did bite the overhead wire cam, even though they'll never admit it. The strippers posing as cheerleaders was also a nice touch.

XFL was great to develop young guys, and now that NFL Europe is gone, it would have been an even greater asset. Somewhere in my parent's attic there is an old Birmingham Fire hat and Barcelona Dragons pennant when the NFLE was known as the World League of American Football.

Here's a video of the top ten K.C. Chiefs plays according to the NFL Network...


L.J.
T.G.
D. Bowe
Derrick Johnson
The Playmaker & The Playbreaker
The TambaHawk
and welcome Glenn Dorsey!!

Here's to football and good luck to your team!


Hey, has anybody seen my He Hate Me jersey?

Smitten over a television chef...

And it's not who you think.



Rachel Ray is annoying. She's too goddamn perky, and is it just me, or are her looks overrated? I mean she ah-ite, but I wouldn't melt with her ala Modern English.

I was channel surfing a few weeks ago on a lazy Sunday morning, and passed through the Food Network (don't be so obvious with your jokes). I heard what sounded like Elizabeth Hurley narrating someone cooking over a stove. I thought that she must have spent all of her Austin Powers money, and had to grab a gig. To my surprise, I saw this attractive, older British woman explaining what she was doing. I kept it on, and I don't know what it was, but she was quite sensual with her presentation, and gave the greatest come hither looks to the camera. Her name is Nigella Lawson.


Here are two pics and a sample video of her...


CILF?



I wouldn't mind doing the squelchy with her.*




I won't go out of my way to watch her shows, but if she happens to be on when I'm channel surfing, I'll put down the remote and see what that little tart is up to.


*Thanks to my DVD collection of the UK's Coupling for the slang. It's like Friends, but funny.

Second 2 None Saturdays

Something that I'm really proud of.




Westchester and The Bronx....get ready.

COMING THIS FALL!! DETAILS COMING SOON!!

The real fans weren't there on Tuesday.

Unless they make alot of money.



I'm a big time Yankee fan. I know they stink this year, and chances are they will not make the playoffs, but every night when I get home from work I turn on the game. There are a million and one other people like me out there. The same million and one that couldn't afford tickets to the all-star game this past Tuesday in the BX.

I pass "The Cathedral" every single day whether it's by car or subway on my way to work. It sickens me that a faithful like myself couldn't grab a seat to this experience. I was willing to sit in the bleacher seats, but those tickets were starting at $500!!! The nosebleeds clocking in at $650. I didn't even bother looking at the other sections.

Oh sure, I had the opportunity to catch the Taco Bell Celebrity Softball game on Sunday, but who the hell wants to see an E! correspondent, or a hack like Billy Crystal play slow pitch? Or better yet, watch Chris Rock strike out three times (affectionately called The Golden Sombrero). Who strikes out in slow pitch softball?


***while trying to find video of Rock's epic fail on YouTube, I came across this. Country music vixxxen, Carrie Underwood in short shorts and Eric Ferrer's crackhead socks playing in a celebrity softball game somewhere down South***

Enjoy...


continuing...

I would have even caught the home run derby, and catch reformed basehead Josh Hamilton crush the shit out of the ball, but to no avail tickets were still too much for my pocketbook.

It's an argument that comes up every year during the Super Bowl and I can see why tickets should be more expensive to cover costs, security, and every other phantom expense there is out there. The fact the corporate douches, silicone saints, and trust fund kids fill the stadiums at these big events really get on my nerves. This commercial that's been running as of late explains it all (pardon the bad quality, it's the only one on YouTube) ...



Real fans go to games winning record or not, stay up late to watch the game that starts at 10PM (feeling me on this east coasters?), and sneak the game on radio when they're at work. We are the ones that support the game and our team the most. What do we get as a reward? The bragging rights to say that it was in our hometown.

Hoo-fuckin-ray.

Oh there is a shot of me going to an all-star game before I die. It just have to wait AT LEAST 31 years. Here's what I mean...

The previous time the all star game was held in NY was in 1977. That was the same year that the Seattle Mariners, and the Toronto Blue Jays were born. Those two cities had to get their shot to host an all star game. Let's not forget the Marlins, the Rockies, the Rays, and the Diamondbacks. So in 31 years, six teams were born. I don't count D.C. because they're originally the Montreal Expos.

Chances are there are going to be couple more teams born due to expansion within the next 31 years, so that will delay the mid-summer classic coming back to NY.

I better start taking that heart medicine.

So what the hell do I like?

Not to get obscure, but...


I don't have a hatred for all off today's rap music (like I've said in previous posts, I refuse to group all of it under hip hop). There are some artists out there that I'm really feeling. Here's a list in no particular order. I'll either provide a YouTube vid, audio track, MySpace/Homepage link, and perhaps a comment or two...


FOREIGN EXCHANGE

"Let's Move"

Beats by Dutch (!!!) producer Nicolay with rhymes by Phonte Colman of Little Brother. Now get this...they NEVER met face to face nor spoke with each other before and during the recording of their debut album, Connected. They met on a hip hop message board, and they would send each other their beats and rhymes via IM. They liked what they were doing, so they completed the album that way. Another great track from this album is "Nic's Groove."

theforeignexchangemusic.com



MURS

"Murray's Revenge" One of the dopest videos to come out in a long time. Anybody in their late 20's to early 30's can point out the video game, but can you make out the MOVIE reference? Hint: It's in the beginning of the video...


"Better Than The Best" I had to include a second video. His videos are very innovative.

Also check out "Risky Business" featuring Shock-G and Humpty Hump. I can't believe MURS got them to reunite for this track!!! Another video to peep is "Hustle" featuring John Cena. Yes, that John Cena, the most loved/hated current WWE wrestler depending on who you ask. The video for "Hustle" is actually a remix of the track. The remix also features E-40 and Chingo Bling, but they were not included in the video.

MURS proves that not all L.A. based rappers are gangbangers. He's been in the rap scene for a while now, but since he's not raping about Locash or another slum, he's not getting any love.

mursmusic.com



PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS

"Acid Raindrops"

Another L.A. based crew that keeps it laid back with some serious production going on.

An excerpt from their website:
Los Angeles residents Michael Turner (Double K) and Christopher Portugal (Thes One) came together as People Under The Stairs in the mid-1990s , through a common love of record digging, making beats and the classic hip hop sound of The Beatnuts and Freestyle Fellowship.

Thes One and Double K worked together making music and soon had a completed debut in the shape of 'The Next Step'. Released in 1998 the album was an unexpected success, especially in the UK, securing the duo a record deal and several overseas tours.

myspace.com/peopleunderthestairs


JOELL ORTIZ

A freestyle from BET's "Rap City." That show is still on?

My boy, MERCADOK let me know about this dude. Brooklyn based rapper, Joell Ortiz is a diamond in the rough. He reminds me so much of Big Punisher. He's had label issues these past couple of years. He was with Dr. Dre's Aftermath, but they kept on shelving his project, so Ortiz asked for his release. I hope he gets a great distributor, because his shit is tight! Check out the track "Hip Hop." Here's the intro to "Hip Hop."

Yo, do me a favor...accidentally step on your white sunglasses
We don't wear those over here, this is Hip Hop
This is Carhardtt jackets...Timberland boots unlaced...
This is Champion hoodies...chicken wings and french fries
R.I.P. pieces on handball courts...this is us still fightin' police brutality
This is hip hop!!

Enough said, kids...

myspace.com/joellortizofficialfanpage


CALLE 13

"Atrévete Te, Te"

Let me say this first...this is not reggaeton! Reggaeton is Latin based form of reggae, which I'm not a fan of. Residente (the resident), and El Visitante (the visitor) are half brothers from San Juan, Puerto Rico. They bring a sound blending cumbia, samba, salsa, electronica, jazz, and more. They are known for their extremely witty lyrics, and have been known to spit fire at current artists; Puff Daddy (that's what I know him as), 50 Cent, Redman, and others. At times they're considered vulgar, due to their use of double entendre. Calle 13 are not liked by the Reggaeton community, because they have won many accolades in the Latino urban industry, and feel that they are in the shadow of the rappers. Another track to check out is "Chulin Culin Cunflai" featuring Voltio and Academy Award winning, (I believe it's a law you have to introduce them as such) Three Six Mafia.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calle_13_(band)


This quick list consists of other artists I'm feeling. Most of them you already know.


Lupe Fiasco
Geeky rap at it's finest. Who the hell raps about Zelda and make it sound so fly?


Rhymefest
"Blue Collar" baby! Quite arguably the most slept on Hip Hop album in the last couple of years.

Joe Budden
If his record sales were better, you'd know him. "Pump It Up" is one of the dopest party tracks in recent history.

Atmosphere
A mainstay in the indie hop hop scene. They did have one commercial hit with "Trying to Find a Balance"

Peanut Butter Wolf
Stones Throw Records alum. Why hasn't this producer/dj/lyricist received the shine he deserves?!

Ludacris
You know who he is. Moving on...

T.I.
Another dude you know. Let's continue...

Obie Trice
He deserves alot more props, but unfortunately he's in the shadow of Eminem & 50 Cent. How the hell did D-12 get more exposure than Obie?! "The Setup" is such a great track and video.

Jean Grae
The queen of idie hip hop. Check out "Love Thirst"

The Roots
A hip hop band. Real instruments...no Pro Tools or Fruity Loops here, kids. Black Thought's lyrics are frequently overlooked.

Dialated Peoples
DJ Babu's project. Kanye West brought them to the mainstream with "This Way" and shined on their own with "Back Again."

Camp Lo
A very niche duo from the Bronx. The are heavily influenced by the 70's Blaxploitation era. "Black Nostaljack" is the perfect example.


Brother Ali
Shout out to B.H. Shan for letting me know about this cat. An albino looking Bubba Sparxxx, but with ten times the better lyrics, and no Mr. Collie park to give him wack ass beats. "Take Me Home"

Common & Talib Kweli
Common and Talib Kweli fall in this list, but they really shouldn't. They've been in "the game" for a while, but radio never gave them love because they didn't have that "hit" sound. Common's "Go" and Talib Kweli's "Hot Thing" are what really made them stand out to the common folk. Why? They're sexually based songs and are produced by the "it" producers of the present. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I really like those tracks. I just wish it didn't take those type of songs for them to shine.

So that's who I like out there right now. Hopefully, you'll check them out and you'll get to like them as well. I'm always looking for a new artist to check out, so by all means, drop me a line in the comment section.

Thanks for reading.

What happened to the Diss Record?

R&B singers putting out diss records...
Rappers taking their beef to YouTube...
Eww...



In the earliest days of hip hop, diss records and battles were the foundation of the music I love so much. MC's would verbally assault their opponent and b-boys battled each other way before Wade Robson disciples (blech) were serving people in shitty movies. I'll admit, I'm not really into the commercial rap (I refuse to call it hip hop) that's out there today, but when I read about two beefs that are currently going down I threw up a little in my mouth. Strap in, kids...

1) Ice-T vs Soulja Boy

2) Ne-Yo vs. Chris Brown


I'll let you take a few moments to recover.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I can't go through the entire history of beefs in hip hop, because you would need to dedicate an entire website to it. I'm going to list some of my favorite hip hop beefs with some heavy paraphrasing. You can find tons more of info on teh internets. Needless to say, the following samples and videos are going to slapped with



KRS-ONE vs. MC Shan
Also known as "The Bridge Wars"

This started around '85 when Marley Marl and MC Shan put out "The Bridge." The track proclaimed without directly saying that hop hop originated from Queens.

Here's a sample of the first verse:

You love to hear the story, again and again,
Of how it all got started way back when,
The monument is right in your face,
Sit and listen for a while to the name of the place,
The Bridge, Queensbridge, the bridge, the bridge...

Boogie Down Productions and KRS-ONE took exception to it and claimed (rightfully so) that Hip Hop started in The Bronx. Here's an excerpt from their response, "South Bronx"

Party people in the place to be, KRS-One attacks,
Ya got dropped off MCA cause the rhymes you wrote was wack,
So you think that hip-hop had its start out in Queensbridge,
If you popped that junk up in the Bronx you might not live...

This escalated to a response by Shan with "Kill That Noise," and then KRS fired back with "The Bridge is Over."

KRS-ONE's career took off from the battle with many successful albums, and MC Shan did a guest verse on Snow's "Informer."


LL Cool J vs. Canibus
The Microphone Tattoo Incident

This one started when they recorded "4,3,2,1" along with Method Man, Redman, Master P, and DMX. Canibus, had a verse that included the lines:

Ripping an arm out a socket,
Taking a mic off it, and
Letting a real MC rock it...

This was a reference to LL's tattoo of a microphone, in which LL took umbrage (SAT word) to. LL had the lines taken off the track and rewrote his verse to rip apart Canibus...

When young sons fantasize of borrowing flows
Tell little shorty with the big mouth the bank is closed
The symbol on my arm is off limits to challengers
You hold the rusty swords, I swing the Excalibur...

In the video, you only see LL with Meth, Red, and DMX in cypher. Canibus and Master P were missing in that scene. This led to Canibus' song, "2nd Round K.O."



LL has tons of experience in making battle records. He's conquered Kool Moe Dee, Ice T, MC Hammer, and others. If you need a rapist and an overrated Haitian producer to help you out, you know you're in trouble...

LL came back with one of my favorite diss albums of all time, "The Ripper Strikes Back"



The beat was epic with the opera singing in the background, and the lyrics tore Canibus, Wyclef, and Mike Tyson apart. The thing is Canibus does have tight lyrics, but he never recovered from this. To this day he still takes shots at LL whenever he tries to release something new.


Notorious B.I.G. vs 2Pac
The East Coast/West Coast rivalry is born...

You don't need to know a thing about hip hop to know about this one. This is what hip hop should not be about. The mass media got involved, blew it out of proportion, and eventually led to the deaths of two of hip hops best ever. Crews got involved. Other artists got involved, hell even baby's momma's put their two cents in. I'm not going to write too much about this one, because you can find it anywhere. I'm just going to include a couple of videos.

It went from this...



to unfortunately this...






Other highly publicized beefs:

Jay-Z vs Nas
For the title of "King of New York" after Biggie died.

Jay-Z drops "The Takeover." Nas drops "Ether."

I love Jay-Z, but Nas smoked Jigga on his track. Nas proves that he's the better lyricist. This one ends up with a "let's agree to disagree" truce and are now rumored to be working together on a album. (I want this shit to happen so badly.)


Lil' Kim vs. Foxy Brown
Battle for Hip Hop's Biggest Ho. I'm gonna say it's a tie.


G-Unit vs. The Game
The battle of who gives a shit.



Which leads me to this post's topic, kids. I came across the Soulja Boy & Ice T beef about two weeks ago. This is how it started...



"Nighttrain" comes out swinging after Soulja Boy. I agree with him, but he hasn't put anything out in years. I was never a fan of Ice-T...the only track I ever like was "Hustler."

Soulja Boy responds with this...



Do you need your lil' crew to comeback with a response?! I hate to admit it, but SB actually made a few good points. Help bring back hip hop to what it is!!

Ice-T comes back with this one...



Soulja Boy apparently is now winning the battle with this...


A cartoon?! What happened to BATTLE RECORDS? Posting a video on the internet seems so catty. Grab your notebook and a pen and throw out some fire. That's how it should be done. Soulja Boy could put this to rest by doing it this way, and possibly gain some credibility in the hip hop community. Unless, he's scared...or very smart. I'm sure he has people that told him about past beefs like LL vs. Canibus. His career could be short lived if he tried to put something out, and Ice-T responds lyrically. So what he does is make a video, and it goes viral. He didn't have to go to the studio, and his name is still out there. It's so smart that it sickens me. Ice-T might have just extended SB's fifteen minutes of fame. Think about it...where's "Chicken Noodle Soup" girl?



As I'm in awe of this situation, I read about this gem two days ago...

Ne-Yo vs. Chris Brown
Wait, aren't you dudes R&B singers?

Chris Brown and Ne-Yo are two young singers in the R&B game as we speak with really good success. I actually don't mind them at all. I like a few of their songs (so shoot me), and it gets the girls on the dance floor. Brown has been selling more records, but Ne-Yo is making up for it in writing songs for other artists, and singing hooks in many rap songs (watch your back, T-Pain). Chris Brown as of late has been really shitting on Ne-Yo, comparing total record sales. So what does Ne-Yo do? He records a diss record with a video to go with it?!

WARNING: If you have an acute case of OCD like myself, the beat of this track will stay in your head for hours. It's taken from Lil' Wayne's "A Milli," produced my Mr. Bangladesh *blech*



What really bugs me about this, is that Ne-Yo doesn't have the balls to admit that he is going after Chris Brown. If you're gonna put out a diss record, take responsibility for it cotdammit.

Chris Brown fires back with this...


Picking the lesser of two evils, I have to go with Ne-Yo on this one. Both of these dudes need to stick with just singing. You're gonna get the ladies, or men for you, Ne-Yo (allegedly) with the singing. If this becomes a trend and I hear Keisha Cole and Rihanna put out diss records, I will hang myself.

So is that what we have to look forward to now in the art of battling? Video blogs, and singing? I hate the "hip hop is dead" argument, but damn it's in a chokehold. Am I too "old school" for thinking this way? I'm only 32...come to think of it, that might be too old in hip hop. Dog years and Hip Hop years run in the same time frame.


Thanks for reading...

Dimitri the Douchebag.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Greatest samples and breakbeats in Hip Hop

He admits that he's corny, but he'll smoke you with his knowledge.



A few weeks ago, I came across this video on YouTube doing research on hip hop samples for a project. DJ Funktuall from Brooklyn has put together an amazing series of videos going over the origins of famous hip hop breakbeats and samples. I've posted the first video, and I will tell you now you'll breeze through the nine videos he has so far in one sitting (I'm guilty of it).

Enjoy...

I gots me a tattoo.

It's all downhill from here...


After many different concepts, drafts, and a tragic accident, I got my first tattoo on 4/20 (dude...). I've been wanting to get one for a while now. I didn't want to get one of the stereotypical douchbag tattoos that are out there; barbed wire, tribal bands, Japanese kanji, Cap'n Crunch. I needed this to be different.

My first tattoo was going to be based on a character that was a part of a card game like Pokemon, or Magic the Gathering if you will. Sounds lame, but hold on. The game had a pimping/drug dealing theme. The character's name was "Super Ochenta," Spanish for Super Eighty. Don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I thought it was a cool piece of art...


Super Ochenta

I felt this guy was like a very cool homage to the Latin culture; a big ass cigar, the dope Panama hat, the fly beard, and it kinda-sorta-maybe-possibly looked like me. I was really feeling this.

I was going to get it done April of 2007 in exchange for designing a website for an amazing artist I met through my brother and his roommate. Monica Henk was going to be the one to bless my arm with it. Unfortunately, while riding her motorcycle to school, some heartless bastard struck her with his/her SUV, shooting her over 100 feet, and drove away. She died on impact, but was resuscitated at the scene by EMTs, and taken to the hospital. She died five days later. The killer is still out there.

Getting a tattoo after that didn't feel right, so I sat on it for months. Near the end of 2007, I was feeling that the time was right to get a tattoo done, but I didn't want to get Super Ochenta. I felt that Monica was the one that was supposed to do it, so I decided to get something else. This time around, it was going to be completely original. I wanted a portrait of myself, but with a twist. It's a portrait of me, but as a skull. For weeks, I was thinking about what elements of my personality I wanted in this piece. I decided to have a goatee, a cigar, and of course a 504 Style Kangol.

I can't draw to save my life, so I went to my artist friends to make a few designs. Nothing really caught my eye, until a young girl by the name of Alorah came up with a few dope designs for me...



The one on the top left corner was what I picked, so I was on my way to getting it done. The only pesky detail was finding an awesome tattoo artist. I was researching a few spots in the NY, but I couldn't find the right place. That's where my bro came in. When the new year arrived, my brother visited True Blue Tattoo in Queens, NY. That was one of the shops Monica worked at. He got to talking to a few of the artists, and hit it off real well with Hillary. She ended up doing a few of his tattoos. He had nothing but rave reviews about her, so I decided to get my arm done the same day he went to get a touch up on a tattoo of his.

After Scotty got his touch up done, it was my turn. I gave her the sketch, and she wanted to modify it so the skull looked more realistic. I gave her the green light to make any changes needed to make it as dope as possible. A half hour later, she finished her sketch. The skull did look more realistic, got rid of the cigar ("It looks like a joint"), and changed the look of the Kangol to give it some depth. I was down, and gave here my right arm to do her thing. Two hours later, I was blessed with this...


Minutes after she was done


Obligatory douche pic showing off the tattoo. All that was missing was a Jagerbomb in one hand, and a chick that I'd could never score in the other.

Needless to say, I was blown away by her work. It was everything that I wanted and then some. I show it off to anybody who wants to look (hell, even if they don't). It's been two months since I got it, and it's looking great. I've already got the itch for a second one. I'm hoping to have it done by the end of Summer.

If you're near the NYC area, and looking to get a tattoo, please check out True Blue Tattoo, and definitely ask for Hillary.


Hillary is the shit. You tell her I said that.

A very shallow post.

It's been a while. I know.



Okay, let's preface this post with the following info. I'm a fat dude. Always have been. If you were to look into my medical records, you would see a check mark in the box labeled "Obese" I'm not proud of it, but it is what is. I've never claimed to be a model, because I'm a realist. Even though this is the case, I have a question...

Why are people trying to hook me up with their fat chick friends?

I know it's a harsh thing to say, it's shallow, and piggish (don't know if the pun was intended or not), but this is becoming a trend in my life as of late. I don't see myself as a good looking dude (I'm not fishing for compliments or pity, I know what I see in the mirror), but in the world of gorditos, apparently I'm a solid 8½.

I have no problems with bigger women (that kinda has a "some of my friends are black" tone to it, I know). I've dated girls of all shapes and sizes, so that's not the issue. I actually prefer a girl with a little meat on her. I don't like boney chicks at all. That "you can see her ribs" look is a little off-putting. I just wouldn't like the fact if she were to borrow a shirt of mine, that it fit a little snug on her.

I thought I had something going with a cinnamon skinned babe last summer, but that blew up when I realized that she was using me to get with my brother (weight wasn't the issue, because my bro is a hefty gentleman himself). Excuse me for a moment...


Hey, stupid...that's why he doesn't text you back.


Okay, as I was saying. That kinda put me in a funk for a bit, and I wasn't really looking for anything serious. I was on a seven month dry-spell, so I'm guessing people think that I'm on the prowl. Not so much. When it was known that I went a recently went on a couple of date, it was presumed "open season" on E.J. (believe me when I say that I'm not at all serious about that statement. I find the whole situation to be quite silly.)

Due to time constraints, I'm going to give you three examples at this time:

1) There is a Japanese restaurant that I've mentioned a few times on this blog where me and my Brooklyn friends visit. If you go a few posts back, you'll see I've been referred to as rapper Big Punisher at the establishment. Well, there is girl working there who happens to be on the heavy side that's interested in me. Now, I have no problem with her being a chubby gal, I'm just not interested. Apparently the running gag over there when I'm not around is (now imagine this in a very thick Japanese accent) "Big Punisher...plus Big Mama...happy family!!" So now when I go, and she happens to be the hostess, there is this uncomfortable cloud over the table when I'm ordering yakiniku and butakimchee. When she leaves, I get the eye-brow raising, "ah?...ah?" facial expression from the crew.

2) My old high school friends have been trying to hook me up with this annoying ass chick that was a year ahead of me. I was blindsided by this one. She did one of those friend requests on my Myspace profile (more on that abomination of a site on a future post), so I was sure whatever, I knew her from when I was dating her cousin in high school. No big deal, right? Out of nowhere she messages me, and is like, "can I get your number, I want to talk to you...blah blah blah." For those who know me, I did E.J.'s famous head tilt...



...and had the "Nah, chill" thought run through my head. I ignored it, and moved on. Just last week, she messages me with the subject, "How much do you love me?" I opened it up, and said that she's coming up from Alabama in October and she wants "kick it." She wanted to know if I can pick her up FROM THE AIRPORT IN NEWARK, NEW FUCKING JERSEY!! She said she'll make it worth my while. Oh hah-hell no! She asked me to hit her back with the good news. My idea of good news was to never get back to her, kick her off my list, and block her from ever seeing my page again. Now I'm the asshole. Well, I am on this occasion. Some of my "friends" are upset, but hell...they led her on or something.

And finally for today...

3) My dear old mother wanted me to meet a belly dance classmate of hers (it's a midlife crisis thing, I dunno). She was from Turkey and was leaving later in the year. Well, I met this gal and she was a biggin' as well.

"What hell, ma? You're in belly dance classes and you couldn't try to pimp your son to somebody else?"

"Aye por favor, Eloy...I was trying to do you and her a favor."

(Cue head tilt)

I don't know what she meant by that one. Was she looking for me throw a tré up in that piece? Does anybody remember that phrase from the 90's?

Now, I've done some events for her and her class; playing music, setting up sound, etc., and there were some great looking girls there. One was flirting with me a little, and I was down for whatever but she broke out before the event was over. I was asking my sweet mommy why she didn't introduce me to her?!

"She's a bitch, and kinda stupid."

"Well, that ass of hers looked pretty intelligent to me."

"*EDITED OUT* is really nice, and she has a great personality!"

Once again, the nice personality. Well, I did end up talking to the Turkish chick for a little while, and could you believe we had absolutely nothing in common? I like hip hop, comedies, the UFC, and she tended her flock of sheep back home. I'm being a ball buster of course, but you get the idea. "Girl, we just from two different worlds..." (sorry, inside joke)

Without being an ass, I'm really trying to figure out why this has been happening lately and questioning the thinking process of my loved ones. First of all, I HATE people trying to hook me up. And second...c'mon...am I going to connect with a gal because we both have the not so flattering ability to take over the armrest on the airplane? Are we gonna trade recipes together...or perhaps hold hands at the Weight Watcher's meeting? I got it!! It's because we both think that Cinnabon rules!

I've come to a conclusion that they are the shallow ones, figuring that they can only see me settling down with a gal of common girth. How could Eloysito be with any other type of person? (See how I turned it around on them? I'm proud of myself for that one). Most of friends and family know my track record, and not to brag, it's not too shabby.

After all...I have a great personality.

Moving on...

There are times when you know that you've overstayed your welcome and realize that it's time to look toward the future. Risks have to be taken in order to improve and grow as a person. I know that the time for me has come.

From this this day on, I'm no longer affiliated with Darkside Entertainment. I've been involved with it for almost ten years, and learned alot. I started selling tickets to help my boy out, which led to starting the website, creating fliers, handling promotions, and other tasks. It gave me a greater passion for music and led me to become a DJ.

When different philosophies are involved, it can lead to counter-production, and even worse, animosity. I'm leaving before the latter sets in. I have no ill-wills, nor am I upset with anybody, because in the end it's all about partying and having a good time, no? I would hope that the same could be said about me in the minds of the Darkside crew.

Please continue to support Darkside by going to their events, because they are ONE OF THE TOP promotions around. The events they throw are amazing.

Leaving Darkside doesn't mean that I'm going to stop promoting. Actually, I'm going to give this a shot on my own along with a couple of my peoples. Truthfully, I've got nothing planned, nor have an idea of what I'm going to do...yet. You'll be the first to know when I have something going down.

I want thank everybody that I've met and showed love at the boat rides, and other Darkside affiliated events. Hopefully you'll stay along for the ride, and see what I'll be doing in the future. If not, it's all good, and I understand.

Big ups to Canela, Big Bear, DJ Classic, and the rest of the crew that's rolled with Darkside through the years.